If you don’t know how much me, Small Pro, and Castro fuck with Elucid, you haven’t been paying attention.  You’ll see and hear more of us with E Gutta in 2011.

Peace to Khal for the link

Design by Adam LaMonaca

We were so excited to have our good friend Kuf Knotz kick off the second installment of Double Entendre that we totally forgot what Forest Gump realized during his Running Phase: shit happens.  Sometimes.

Unfortunately, Kuf will not be able to have a go at it on Saturday as he is recovering from surgery but he assured he will be ready for his debut at Slingluff Gallery in 2011.  We lucked out and hit up Jawnzap7, he of “Dead Queens 2″ fame, and one of the hardest working emcee/producer/performer/songwriters in Philadelphia, to step in like Roy Hobbs in the bottom of the ninth to knock it off the stadium lights as we run the bases drenched in sparks and eternal glory.  After wrapping up his long-awaited second LP I Hate My Stupid Rap Life, he obliged.

Jawnzap7

Here’s some of Jawnzap7′s best works before you meet him on Saturday night at 8pm!

“Pens4Paper” live

Live at the Turntable Club in Baltimore

And here’s some choice works from Mike Maxwell whose collection “Minor Superior” is featured this month at Slingluff Gallery:

Man, I can’t believe it’s been since three years since Mally first mailed me his CD The Letter, complete with a personal handwritten thank you note.  He’s come a long way since the days of rhyming over Dilla instrumentals on less than desirable microphones.  It’s been a treat listening to him develop, make mistakes and tighten up his chamber with each passing song, project, and year of growth.

Aside from collaborating together on Bring Me the Head of Zilla Rocca and the remixed version of the mixtape via 33jones.com (plug plug both available to your left plug plug plug), Mally and I have kicked it as much as we can considering he’s neighbors with Joe Mauer, Rhymesayers, and the black hole that is the Minnesota Timberwolves.  Unlike blog/boutique rappers, Mally doesn’t toss out MP3′s like hot hand grenades on a weekly basis.  So when a song like “Lights Off” lands in my inbox, I’m not trigger happy with the “Report as Spam” button on my gmail account.

“Lights Off” sounds like the perfect opener or closer for a live set.  The organ chords and plodding kick drums from The Sundance Kid provide enough space for Mally to unload hell.  He’s moved away from the Budden-esque flows and emotional meanderings found on past projects like The Passion because sometimes a beat just needs to be bludgeoned without extra dressing.

Download “Lights off” by Mally complete with artwork and credits here

Here’s a Let Me Learn You Something segment I did with Mally back in ’08 if you’d like to get more familiar

Artwork by Objektiv One

Artwork by Objektiv One

Artwork by Objektiv One

Well..it’s been one helluva trip making this dang EP.  We literally were down to the wire, writing and mixing and mastering this bad boy, right until the last possible minute.  And it’s another piece of music Douglas and I are incredibly proud of and have been itching to share with you for quite some time now.

Unlike other follow-ups to proper albums, the Broken Clocks EP isn’t a dumping ground for all the crap we couldn’t fit on The Slow Twilight, nor is it a butterfly net to scoop up all the odds and ends that might’ve slipped through the digital cracks since last year (that would be The Twilight Spoiler Mix by Son Raw).  Some tracks will look very familiar (“Dirt Naps” and “Bottomfeeders Small Pro Remix)” but sounds have been added, subtracted, and sequenced painfully to give the EP a cohesive feel, a tough order considering we have five, count ‘em, FIVE producers of the 9 tracks compiled.

The EP is also in stark contrast to The Slow Twilight, namely for the fact that we not only remixed a bunch of songs, but the tone and feel is more open thanks to outside collaborators.  Even Douglas Martin let his stocking cap down for a minute on the original track “It’s Always 5 O’Clock Somewhere” chopping up a Fela Kuti record over a familiar break to Dilla heads worldwide.  Philly producer Nex Millen, who I’ve worked with on previous projects, got matched up with Chicago’s answer to Treach & Bootie Brown, emcee Alex Ludovico for “Eric Lindros (Broad Street Bully Remix).  Lessondary’s one-man answer to Def Jux, Elucid, brought the f*cking ruckus alongside HipNOTT Records’ resident headphone murderer Has-Lo and South Philly’s syllabic carnivore Nico the Beast on “No Resolution 2″.  Philadelphia by way of Oakland producer Egon Brainparts of the electro/hip hop/jurassic live production squad Bossasaurus came in at the zero hour with his remix to “Dead Queens” that begged for the Pharoahe Monch/Nate Dogg hook treatment via Jawnzap7 and the lovely Miss Amy.  And Curly Castro got thrown inside my vicious reworking of the live staple “Weak Stomach”.  Suddenly, “5 O’Clock Shadowboxers” wasn’t just this isolated ping pong match between two guys on separate coasts.  Everyone who contributed, from Curly Castro who christened the project with its name, to Objektiv One with the History-Channel-on-acid artwork, just wanted to do something cool because they enjoyed what Douglas and I brought forth last year.

Anyway, it’s now 12:39 am and I’ve been working on this EP since 1:30pm today to ensure its high quality.  Time for the big sleep.  And THANK YOU for giving us your time, your ears, your iPod memory space, your CDR’s, and your recommendations to others!

Stream and/or purchase the EP for $5 at the Shadowboxers Bandcamp page below

Or…

Download the EP FREE for a very limited time via usershare

For 2010: The Expendables, a film written and directed by Sly Stallone.

Plot: A team of mercenaries head to South America on a mission to overthrow a dictator.

Cast:

Sylvester Stallone
Jason Statham
Jet Li
Dolph Lundgren
Steve Austin
Mickey Rourke
Bruce Willis
Arnold Schwarzeneggar
Eric Roberts
Danny Trejo

No word on the involvement of Sasha Mitchell or Tommy from “Best of the Best”. 

Obviously, this film will receive 4 Stallone Claps immediately upon release here at Clap Cowards.

/heads back to arm wrestling in cut off tank top while pumping “You’re the Best” in Camarro

A few weeks back, I stumbled across this contest at Kevin Nottingham where each week they asked producers to remix a joint off LL Cool J’s comeback album Mama Said Knock You Out.  Week 1 presented the chance to remix the beat for the ultimate jeep anthem: “Boomin’ System”.  Not only did Marley Marl build “Boomin’ System”  off the James Brown sample ”The Big Payback”, which has been flipped by everyone from Total to Massive Attack, but on that track and for the majority of Mama Said Knock You Out LP he gave LL this lane to excel in, a sound that was rugged, funky, and not too serious.  In other words, the opposite of Phenomenon and everything that followed it.

Anyway, I did not win the remix contest (though shouts to A-Town’s DJ Grain who picked me #1 on his ballot–and you’ll soon understand why).  But Khal at Rock The Dub was so geeked he asked me if he could throw that ish in his old Alpine system, sportin’ his fresh fisherman hat, clocking the girlies walkin’ by.  Check out his reaction to the track and his take on the original “Boomin’ System” at Rock The Dub.

Download “Boomin’ System (Zilla Rocca BLAST UP Remix)” | usershare

On a side note, if you can guess all the vocal samples I used in the remix, post it in the comment section and I will ship you out some promo goodies!

If you loved hip hop at any point in your life, you need to own LL Cool J’s All World greatest hits compilation.  Yes, OWN IT!  It’s worth $9-$16.   Every year when LL puts out another wack album brimming with collabos from the flavor of the month that inevitably fades 2 weeks after its release while his Def Jam bitchfest marches on for 6 months, I shudder and think back to how incredible his run was from ’86-’97.

Top 5 LL songs of all time (in no particular order):

“Boomin’ System”
“Around the Way Girl”
“Jingling Baby Remix”
“Mama Said Knock You Out”
“Loungin Remix f/ Total”

Honorable mentions:

“4,3,2,1″ (not for LL’s verse mind you)
“Backseat of my Jeep”
“I Shot Ya”
“Goin Back to Cali”
“Ill Bomb”

Richard Price, author of “Clockers” and long-time writer for The Wire, on writing the script for MJ’s “Bad” video:

“Too late to deny it then. Listen, it sounded like a great idea. Martin Scorsese came to me and said Quincy Jones came to him on behalf of Michael Jackson to do a music video. This was when music videos were just becoming a big thing. So Jackson wanted to show people that he’s “down.” Think about it: Richard Price, Scorsese, Michael Jackson, who the hell is going to say no? Of course I was going do it. And everybody did their job. Jackson is not a bad actor, and Scorsese, well, he’s great. I wrote a really good eight-page script. Problem is that Michael Jackson is Michael Jackson … he looks like Minnie Mouse. And you forget the whole thing has to end with a song. Looking at it now, I think it’s cool I did it. No one holds it against me, anyway.”

There are no words to justify this...

Let’s see:

-Packages of cocaine: CHECK

 -Angry youth offender blasting a hand cannon at no one in particular: CHECK

-Angry black man in plaid and sideways baseball cap blasting a shotgun into the night: CHECK

-Angrier black man with 2 pistols murdering a chest naked cop: CHECK

-Stacks of money splattered everywhere: CHECK

-Hostage tied up, probably dead: CHECK

-Another hostage getting cracked by a probable Italian enforcer: CHECK

-Songs titles include “Gangsta Shit”, “Cut Throat Shit”, and “Bitch N*ggaz”: CHECK

Thank you Tony Yayo and DJ Drama.  Shit like this is why anytime I tell someone I’m a rapper, they either roll their eyes, mockingly ask me to “spit something”, or reveal some stereotypical “gangsta talk, G!” to subtly clown me.  Great stuff, dicks!

After reading about one of the PRISM’s late night fav’s Boxing Helena at The AV Club (Greater Media Cable subscribers in Philly–what up!), I started thinking about Sherilyn Fenn. 

Then I googled her images because she was positively intoxicating as Audrey Horne in Twin Peaks.  I almost forgot how sexy she was in that Armand Assante spoof movie from the mid 90s playing his quaint secretary.  She’s now 44 years old.  And I don’t care!  If Demi Moore can still get spreads and such, someone should throw Sherilyn the figurative bone.   I never wanted to be a bag of Ruffles so badly in my life…