My first Carlin experience was in the early 90s. I was about 9 or 10 years old. I was sleeping over my friend PJ’s house. At the time, it was the coolest experience of my life: he not only had a water bed (!), but he also had his own TV in his room and that TV had HBO! We stayed up what seemed like all night (probably 11pm) watching Carlin’s stand-up special Doin’ It Again. I had yet to laugh that hard. Since that moment I was hooked.
Previously, I had only known Carlin as Rufus, the sunglass wearing, heavily shoulder padded mentor from the future in Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. After that HBO special, I was fiending for that real, however I wasn’t allowed to stay up that late in order to catch his short-lived sitcom The George Carlin Show on FOX.
In high school, one of the JO’s in my class had a copy of Carlin’s book Brain Droppings, which made the rounds during 3rd period Theology, homeroom, and 6th period lunch. I was able to watch more of his specials, catch up on his classic pieces like “Baseball versus Football” and ”The 7 Words You Can’t Say on Television” via Comedy Central. I’ve always been a huge stand-up comedy fan, but my allegiance to Carlin was deeper. He managed to mix the most colorful and articulate profanity with intensely, well-thought philosophies on religion, government, sexuality, hygiene, morality, and Joe Pesci. It seemed so effortless to be that smart and foul-mouthed–I’ve tried and failed horribly to follow George’s lead.
He was a man who loved words. He liked playing with people’s comfort zones. He enjoyed breaking down established ideologies and rearranging them like a jigsaw to show you just how friggin stupid they were in the first place.
One of his bits single-handedly pulled me out of my “fear God because I’m in Catholic school” mentality. Along with Fight Club and Dogma, George really forced me to question set ideals and think for myself as teenager with bad acne and a pager. He made it fun. Spoon full of sugar, I suppose.
Here’s pieces of my favorite Carlin bit from his 1999 HBO special You are All Diseased:
But He loves you…
You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci. Two reasons: First of all, I think he’s a good actor, okay? To me, that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe Pesci doesn’t fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one visit. It’s amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball bat.
So I’ve been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don’t. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit’s foot, same as the Mojo Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat’s testicles, it’s all the same: 50-50. So just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you. You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that’s a good one. Has a nice happy ending, I’m sure you’ll like that. Then there’s Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn’t care for, by the way. And finally, I’ve always drawn a great deal of moral comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty back together again.” That’s because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God. None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I’m gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened? Everybody’s okay? All right, tell you what, I’ll raise the stakes a little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing happened, oh, wait, I’ve got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls hurt. Plus, I’m blind. I’m blind, oh, now I’m okay again, must have been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe Bless You!
******
Rest in peace, George!
May 12, 1937-June 22, 2008
George Carlin was one of my all time favorite “comedians” although what he did wasn’t so much comedy as it was social commentary. He and Dick Gregory were two sides of the same coin. Carlin cut his teeth doing comedy in Black clubs and taking that “anything goes/nothing is taboo” aesthetic and expounding on it until he created his own niche in comedy.
He made the “HBO/Showtime” comedy special an event all by his lonesome and he pushed the boundaries every time he came out with something new. I got George Carlin quotes for days. How about the bigger the hat, the more powerful you are in the church joke where he explained what kind of hat he though God would wear in Heaven?
Rest in eternal peace, George Carlin.
One.
I found ur ass after “leaving” myspace…who do u think you are Jay-Z?! You gonna leave and come back 90 times…jk but i like the blog its current events on steroids…keep it up and the moment comes in 2 weeks…RIP Carlin
So I’m not big on watching the news so I didn’t hear about this until i opened your blog up and then I literally grabbed my chest and gasped. George was an amazing man. He was definitely one of my favorites, and I don’t have many favorite comedians. I also came across him at a young age and followed him ever since. I just recently watched his most recent special “..It’s Bad For Ya” about a month or so ago and he was just as raunchy, and vulgar as always and I loved it. I still to this day think he had the best Aristocrats skit. R.I.P. George
One of my favorite bits of his was from SNL when he opined that he wanted athletes on drugs; that he wanted to see a drugged out hoops game and a weightlifter lift 3000 pounds.
I racked my brain to remember any Hip Hop songs that reference George, but couldnt think of any. RIP.